Lowell consented to try chemotherapy one more time – for his family, even though he was ready to go on to the next phase of his “eternal life”. This latest round of chemotherapy made him extremely ill, unable to eat or drink anything and having to deal with vomiting and diarrhea. After a week of pure misery he decided to discontinue the chemotherapy and just let nature take its course. His cancer doctor told us Lowell had one to two weeks left, then signed him up for Hospice assistance. The Hospice nurse wasn’t as pessimistic about Lowell’s chances as the cancer doctor, so we are hoping family will have some additional quality time with him. Lowell has always been physically strong, so we are hoping for the best, as long as he isn’t suffering.
Shortly after Lowell was diagnosed with cancer last year our second daughter, Catherine, wrote the following poem about faith. We hope this will help those of you who may struggle with loss – or your faith. She said:
“l was headed to the temple and thinking about my faith. I felt that I had faith that my Father could be healed and live a healthy life. I also felt that I had faith to accept the will of the Lord and let my Dad go, knowing we would see one another again – and perhaps it was his time to go home. While I was pondering these things, I remembered a talk given in General Conference called "But if not". It talked about the faith of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, and how they were sure that the Lord could save them – but if He didn't, they still would believe in [Him] and obey Him.
I couldn't get the phrase out of my head!
Pretty soon, I had begun writing a poem in my head about their experience. Eventually it blossomed into something that became more than just a poem about them, but a poem for anyone who faces uncertainty with faith.”
Courage my brethren, courage to stand
United in faith our valiant band
True to our Father, true to our King
Our God forever Thy praises we sing
Thou wilt protect in our hour of need
But if not, we are free. But if not, we are free
Facing the fire, facing the foe
We regard no threatening voice even though
Our lives they revile, our pains, deride;
The God whom we serve will ever provide
Deliverance from the mean and depraved
But if not, we are saved. But if not, we are saved.
Into the furnace, into the flame
Our last breath to Thee; Praise to Thy name.
But lo! What is this? Where is the pain?
We feel no burning, our lives yet remain!
Then in the midst of the fire we are shown
We were not left alone, we were not left alone.
Faith in deliverance, faith to endure
For what lies ahead you cannot be sure
Trust in My wisdom, trust in My care
I am thy God and will always be there.
Whether the furnace consumes or is stayed
In Me thou art saved, in Me thou art saved.
--Catherine Wright Taylor
We are grateful for the time we have had with Lowell, for our faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and in eternal life. This is all in God’s hands and He is aware of our wants, needs, and desires.